The Mean Sister Blues

As per previously posted, the evil sweater that DM rescued me from has been completed, assembled, delivered, tried on, and I understand that it fits. Not that I have a photo of course, even though I was promised that I would be e-mailed a photo on Friday evening - no such luck. DMS claims that because she had to wait for the sweater, that I should have to wait for the photo. Like that is fair! All knitters know it doesn't takes as much skill to photograph the project as it does to knit it...

I think the Devil himself designed the pattern that DMS picked out for that me to knit for her. He must also have designed her digital camera as she can't seem to get a picture of herself in that sweater e-mailed to me!

I know, I know DMS is busy with two children and her hubby, and can't be bothered with taking pictures for her poor sick sister with diabetes... Okay, enough with the guilt and whining - I am even weary of it. To brighten things up a bit, I have composed a little blues song that is sung to the same tune as the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese song. If you know it sing along...

MEAN SISTER BLUES

I got a mean sister, she’s sassy and bad - dah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
She’s got her darn sweater, so she shouldn’t be so mad...

(chorus)
I’ve got the mean, mean, mean sister blues...
She’s got me so wired and crazy that I’m gunna blow a fuse.

She won’t take a picture, and I think it’s not fair -dah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
It’s making me so cranky that I wanna pull her hair.

(chorus)
I’ve got the mean, mean, mean sister blues...
She’s got me so wired and crazy that I’m gunna blow a fuse.

My next post should have a photo of some sort on it, possibly of the socks I am working on.

p.s. Rasperries to the sister who probably looks just great in her new sweater, but not that I'll ever know...

The Joy of Socks...

It took me a long time to discover the joy of knitting socks, but I have arrived. They are easily portable, not terribly expensive, and it satisfies the immediate gratification need that I have.

In visiting FKD's blog, I understand that I am to consider myself tagged for the meme. Here goes nothing...

A-Age: 39.
B-Bed size: Queen.
C-Chore you hate: Dusting, unloading the dishwasher, and scrubbing the bathroom.
D-Dessert you love: Chocolate mousse.
E-Essential start your day item: Diet Coke!!!
F-Favorite actor(s): John Cusack, Johnny Depp.
G-Gold or Silver: Both.
H-Height: 5'1.5"
I-Instruments you play: None.
J-Job title: Medical transcriptionist.
K-Keeping track of your day: Notes on my calendar.
L-Living arrangements: Just me, the hubby, and Natty cat.
M-Mom's name: Shiny Hiney. No, really it's Joyce, or Linda on a good day...
N-Not liking right now: Diabets and the diet that comes with.
O- Overnight hospital stay other than birth: None.
P-Place you were born: Kansas City, MO.
Q-Quote you like: "Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, LOATHE..." - the Grinch!
R-Right or left handed: Right.
S-Siblings: 1 sassy younger sister.
T-Time you got up today: 3:39 a.m.
U-Unique habit: Not really any...
V-Vegetable you hate: Most of them...
W-Worst habit: Quick-tempered.
X-X-rays you've had: Teeth, chest, knee, and ankle.
Y-Yummy food you can make: Enchilada casserole
Z-Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Consider yourself tagged if you feel a meme coming on too!

As you have noticed, not much on the joy of socks, that is because there isn't much of a sock yet...

Patience is a virtue...

Many years ago, I had my first knitting machine. The only thing I saved from that adventure was the Brother ball winder that I had purchased to use with it. Many years later, I have another knitting machine, but I mostly use the ball winder for handknitting projects as I don't use the machine too much even now. However, I do NOT have a swift, and therein lies the rub, or rather the knot.

When I re-learned to knit a couple of years ago, I purchased some yarn, forgot about it, and rediscovered it this week. It is a lovely sock yarn, and I think I got it at the Studio, but not entirely sure as there is no sticker on the label. I have knit socks before, but with yarn that comes in skeins, not hanks. Hanks are twisted into a nice little twisty-ropey-looking things, and they are created by the Devil. I though, hmmm, I will use this for myself. I would like my own pair of socks, and if I make short cuffs I will have just enough yarn. Great! yarn untwisted, safety ties untied, and POW this monstrosity of yarn that is a big wiggly hula-hoop-type thing falls out of my hands, and onto the floor. I am just barely over five feet tall, the damn yarn didn't fall that far, how could it have gotten so screwed up on the way to the floor - and it no longer looks like a hula-hoop. It more closely resembles a plate of colored spaghetti now. Then part two of the disaster - Natty the cat is having her nightly cat fit, and flies through the pile of spaghetti yarn and gets all four feet tangled up, but pulls the yarn about three feet apart. The mess has just went from a moderate-sized catastrophe to a homicidal event!

Long story short, after two and a half hours, I have 420 yards of sock weight yarn, which does not unknot easily, wound onto the ball winder. The memory of where I purchased this is starting to come back to me. I did purchase this at the Studio, and the day I purchased it there were about six pain in the ass women in the knitting store with me, and they were driving me crazy. I was still very new at knitting, a little intimidated, and definitely irritated as they pushed and shoved their way through the store and people to ferret out anything and everything. When it was finally my turn at the register, the sales lady asked me, "would you like us to wind this for you?" I distinctly remember that all I wanted was out of that store, and I didn't realize I had just set myself up for disaster. I should have stayed and let them wind my yarn. It would have maybe taken ten minutes, fifteen tops to let them wind it as they have a swift, and the same ball winder that I do, but most importantly a swift. I cursed myself by saying, "No, I have a ball winder. I will be fine." I naively walked out the door, came home, put the yarn away and forgot about until I found the little cursed hank this week. The curse was still alive and well when I opened the yarn this evening. The moral of the story is ALWAYS let the store wind your yarn, it is worth the time to wait!!! It is not impossible to unwind a hank of yarn without a swift, it is just damned unpleasant!!! I have no one to blame but myself for this most recent lesson in knitting. When you make the mistake yourself, it will stay right there until you fix it, or until it has the chance to bite you in the ass . Either way, it was one big giant suckapallooza fixing that mess.

The Perfect Knitting Day...

Not that I have had one myself, but I have the same recurring fantasy of a perfect knitting day. It takes many elements to equal that kind of day (yes, a whole day), and here they are:

The house is clean from top to bottom - no guilt about knitting for hours and losing track of time.

The laundy is completely done and put away - further, no guilt about knitting the day away.

All errands must have been completed, hopefully the day before so that you can have the whole day for selfish pursuits. This includes the grocery store, what would a good selfish day would be complete without snacks (salty, chocolate, and Diet Coke no less)?

Hubby needs to be at work, stay a little late, and offering to bring home or order a pizza to ensure his continued good health on the day of knitting.

The weather needs to be stormy, rainy, blustery - just in case you thought about leaving the sancity of your knitting, it wouldn't really be good - so now you HAVE to stay in for safety's sake...

The phone is not allowed to ring much at this time, but you must have the cordless beside you on the knitting throne (the throne is a comfy seat that includes the project, Diet Coke, snacks, telephone, remote control, soft blanket). Also, the cat is not allowed to be demanding during the Perfect Knitting Day.

Knit, knit, knit. No chores, errands, or distractions to deal with, and definetly no guilt about not working on more "important" projects. The success of this day is not measured by the amount of knitting completed, but by the amount of total indulgance and lack of distraction. No interruptions by thoughtless non-knitters (like they count anyway) will be tolerated!!! Hubby should not arrive back home before 6 pm, really 7 pm is better, and no questions like, "What did you do today?"

Now that is a fantasy! Not that I live in that world, but God I would like to...

Back to reality as the house isn't spotless, the errands aren't complete, the cat is demanding, I am planning what to serve for dinner, and hubby is coming home EARLY to run an errand that involves going to the airport with me. It ain't perfect, but it's the life I got. I can always dream about the perfect knitting day...

Purple and Sparkly is my Charge

BC would like to have a purple sparkly scarf, and this aunt will not disappoint. The scarf is nearly done, and I may be able to have enough left over to make LC one as well. I will have to see. The needles that I am knitting this on are size #17. I refer to them as my Buffys (e.g. Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and they do look a little stake-like. After the possible scarf for LC, I just have one more to make for DM as she would like a scarf to match her snappy chapeau.

Four FOs for 2006, and One Teeny Flub...

Okay, the teeny flub as we all know is the sweater for DMS that nearly finished me, not the other way around, and I had to have a rescue from Mom. Not my proudest moment as a knitter, but sometimes you have to realize when the party is over, and believe me it was.

The sweater to the left is the beast in question that that Mom is "helping" me with so that it doesn't get turned into yarn confetti and pitched off my balcony.


The four FOs are the two, yes two, keyhole scarves. One charity scarf for the Red Scarf Project, and with the left over yarn, and set of hogbones (scarf) for DH. The keyholes were one for DMS, and one for myself. I have now successfully used up the Sinsation yarn from Plymouth that I bought. I am planning to have a minimum of one scarf finished in a week (not that I am on a scarf binge) as my dear niece, Braydee, asked her Aunt Terri to please knit one for her, and she further thought having it ready when she got off the plane would be nice as well. Never mind that it was almost 80 degrees here yesterday. If the kid wants a scarf, then a scarf she shall have. I would love to knit something for her new little sister too. That little girl has stolen my heart from thousands of miles away. DMS went to China to adopt her, and they are still on the journey to bring back the new niece, Lucy. I better get started knitting!!!

The Way to a Knitter's heart...

DMS loved the keyhole scarflet, and that is the way to any knitter's heart. Just acknowledge that you loved the gift. Truly, a gift from the hands are truly a gift from the heart. I love you, Sis! Travel safely, and come back home soon.

I Owe Mom, Big Time...

Boy do I owe Mom now, big time... That sweater for DMS that had become the project from Hell, my mother offered very graciously to finish the sleeves, and possibly even the collar. However, the collar has not been officially stated. I shouldn't have let it wig me out so bad, but all those yo, and k3tog, yo commands finally drove me over the edge. I am reasonably sure I will be assembling it as Mom asked me, "I don't suppose you have sewn the seams, have you?" Fair question for someone who is rescuing you from the sleeves. I will happily assemble the project. I am just so grateful to have it out of my hair.

On the bright side, I have finished a project for DMS to wear on the plane to China. It is a keyhole scarflet (see picture of the plum-colored scarflet in the upper right corner). I made it out of the most wonderful yarn called Sinsation by Plymouth. It is the color of milk chocolate and dark chocolate, and it feels like oyster-sheared mink. It is really a lovely little project. I have taken four hours of PDO to spend some time my DMS and present the scarflet. I hope she likes it. By the way, thanks Mom.

F-WORD, F-WORD, F-WORD!!! SLEEVES!!!!!!!!!!

That is me in the above picture, up to my neck in issues!!! Knit + idiot = knitiot. That is the word that describes me - go the dictionary and there will be a picture of me waving there. I have been working so rapidly so as to have the sweater finished for DMS that I have totally bolixed up the gauge for those F-ing, F-ing sleeves!!! If you are reading this, sorry again girl. My bad. FFFFFFFFFF!!!! To make it worse, DMS was so very nice about it that it made be feel like the knitiot I clearly am. I have already started over on those sleeves at least once before, maybe twice, and now again.

The Red Sleeve Boogy

Faster, faster! If there aren't sparks flying from my knitting needles I must not be working fast enough! I am knitting day and night to finish that beastly red sweater, and I am determined to conquer the monster that this pattern has become, and then I will move on to other projects that don't make me want to snatch out a handful of hair out (mine or other people's) every time I pick up the knitting needles. Did I mention that I am swearing off of Vermont Fiber Design patterns? Mention, hah!!! They (the patterns) look relatively user-friendly and pretty cute, but step away from the pattern - IT'S A TRICK!!! I believe the Devil himself wrote this pattern. I have heard an ugly rumor that the yarn I am working with, Plymouth Sunsette, has been discontinued. It does want to split a little bit, but it feels to soft and weightless. DMS, the person for whom the sweater is for, and the same person with sweater itchitis should enjoy wearing it. That is assuming it fits. The little heffer wouldn't sit still or agree to a fitting during the holidays, or really any other time. I am pretty sure it will fit either Barbie (i.e. Barbie the doll) or Rosie O'Donnell.

Rattlin' them bones...

The hogbones were fun, but gone, and I enjoyed making them very much. I have found out that a quick easy project in the midst of a difficult one can be a nice break. The farrow row (K3, P1) worked particularly well with the suede yarn. It needed a strong pattern to have a gender neutral look. Now, back to the sleeves at hand (pun intended, weak as it was...), hopefully I will have it finished for DMS to wear on the plane to pick up my new niece in China.

I notice I have had 45 people look at my profile. You lurkers could leave a comment now and again. I may even start posting pictures...

Hog Bone Scarf

I am knitting an interim project to help me get over the hump of the complex project that this sweater has become, and it is a charity project. The project is to give kids in college that come from foster homes a boost of confidence, and to know that others care about them. The project is named "The Red Scarf Project", and guess what I am making, a red scarf.

I am knitting the red scarf with a very nice yarn, who knew Lion Brand could have such a lovely suede-like yarn. At any rate, I selected a pattern that would create interest, and not be too girly (as there are more guys than gals in the foster kid program). The pattern is called farrow row. At first, I thought it meant like "deep ditch". No siree bob, I looked it up, and Mr. Webster and I now both know that farrow means litter of pigs, or to have a litter of pigs. The scarf is blood red, and with all those bulky rows it looks like butchered baby pig ribs. It feels wonderful if you close your eyes, but it is about all I can do to look at it now. It just reminds me of bloody, butchered pig ribs now. Hence the name, hog bone scarf. This will be my first finished project of 2006. I hope the recipient loves it, and feels that there are people that care for him/her whether they have met or not. I must have it postmarked by the 31st of the this month. I am about half done, and hopefully I can have DMS's sweater done when it is time to go got Miss Lucy.

Closing in on the finish line for the sleeves

DM suggested that I knit both sleeves at once so that I didn't get bored, and not want to finish. I am way the Hell beyond that. This pattern is so tedious, filled with errors on the pattern writer's part, not to mention that I have blown my own deadline out of the water. Work is crazy, life sucks, and I still haven't finished this damn sweater. I am going to give a real push so that DMS can possibly wear the sweater on the airplane when she goes to pick up my new niece, Lucy.

To quote a line from one of my favorite movies, "Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, LOATHE, hate, hate, hate." That is pretty much my sentiment for everything I can see, feel, hear, touch, or consider today.

Hi Ho The Dairy-O The Front And Back Are Done!

You guessed it! The front and back of DMS's sweater is complete, despite the evil attempts of the pattern writer! I will begin, and hopefully finish the sleeves shortly. I may even learn to work my digital camera so I can post a picture of the long awaited sweater. Through this sweater so far, I have learned that bamboo isn't the only knitting needle in the knitting world, that Addi's don't infact suck, and that if I ever find the person who wrote this pattern I will pull his or her hair!!!

Things I can blame my mother for...

My mother is the one who initially taught me to knit; unfortunately, it didn't really stick the first time though. My fault, not hers. That being said, there was the work before play gig. My husband has been out of town for almost a week, and at the beginning of the week I thought I would knit the entire time. Ask me if that is what I did, go ahead, I double dog dare you? Ask me if all I did was knit, and nothing else. The answer is an emphatic NO! I did all the crappy little chores that would not get done if I didn't do them, and that only mattered to me because a nasty little voice in my head kept saying, "Come on, work before play. You can knit later." Let me explain, I think there is some kind of a spell that mothers cast on their children. Once you are fully an adult, all or most of the things your mother taught you, the fun and the not-so-fun eerily begin appearing like magic in your life. In your 20s, who cared if your place was clean? Dirty dishes, get to them later. Dirty clothes, buy new. Don't want to iron, not a problem, there is a dry cleaner on every corner. Then your 30s come, still in your own groove. Then you hit 35 and all the fun stuff that used to be just fine with you now starts to bring up nagging little thoughts like I can't stand this mess; just look at this closet; and who left that (whatever that is) there?!?!?!

Your 30s keep rolling, and before you know it the bloom is off the rose, and you are closing in on 40, and that damn spell is working like a charm. No longer can you spend hours, days, weeks ignoring chores. The lists I used to hate when my mother made them for me are now in my own damn handwriting! The fun that used to come first is so far down the list it didn't even make the list, and the spell keeps working...

Better yet, I am now repulsed by some of the things that I used to be drawn to. I now hate things that are gaudy, flashy, and for the love of God fuschia! The spell has worked so well that it makes me loathe the tacky and gaudy so much that I now fear its return, and the aforementioned dear mother now suggests I get more color in my wardrobe lest I be seen in too much brown, black, and beige. I used to be the one with purple eyeliner, navy mascara, and blue fingernail polish - a thought/memory I now regard with genuine horror. You guessed it, the spell.

The husband will be home in four hours, and I got so much done while he was out of town; however, not much knitting though. (Damn, damn, damn!!!) I look around, and I am glad I did all that work, and I guess I have to say, "Thanks Mom, I couldn't have done it without your help/spell." Maybe I am an adult now, maybe not, but at least I didn't get the spell that my younger sister did. She got THE bad spell - the "I hope when you grow up you have a child that acts just like you do" spell. I had to grow up with that kid, and God bless that spell...

Long story short, whatever responsibility I occasionally exhibit is owing to Mom. However, I will still find a way to use the "F-word" now and again. KIDDING, because I am sure there is a spell for that too...

Did I mention that I suffer from delusional thoughts?

I am working my knitting needles to the point of sparks because I thought, and publically stated, that I would have DMS's sweater finished by Thanksgiving Day, or more insanely BEFORE!!! I am still working towards that goal, but the needles will be too hot to touch by the time the sweater is complete. That'll teach me to talk stupid...

Come on Thanksgiving!!!

I have set a rather lofty goal for myself, lofty in that I have three jobs, I am trying to knit a sweater, have it finished, assembled, and presented by Thanksgiving Day, or even a few days before. What is wrong with me??? (Note to all readers: This is rhetorical - no answers please.)

Even though DMS said that knitting was "slow and dumb", I think she will like this - or she can just lie and tell me she does, that will be fine too. Either way she is going to wear it!!!

No more time to write and reflect, the knitting awaits!!!

Hello turbo, goodbye bamboo...

Do crazy people know they are crazy? My guess would be no, and therefore I must not be crazy for shunning the Addi turbo needles all this time. I ranted, raved, and turned the air blue the first time I tried the Addi's and swore out vengence on the poor soul who sold them to me, and then along came the project for DMS. The yarn is lovely, and I don't want to irritate it. However, the yarn has a personality of its own, and it HATES the bamboo needles!!! DM suggested that I try metal, I of course grumbled, but thought I might have some in my stash somewhere... (Somewhere = the stash of knitting goods that DH knows nothing about.)

I found the needles, and much to my horror they were the damn Addi turbo needles that almost caused me to take a life last winter, and then I decided to give them a try. I did have a few screaming mishaps in the beginning, but now I am breezing right along. I hate it when DM is right about everything, but damn if she wasn't about this too. I love those slipperly little devils now. I may never return to the bamboo. They are possibly just too "grabby" for me now.

I am even coming along with the evil open work on DMS's pattern, and it is 100% on gauge. Yea on me is what I say! Thank God I didn't actually do the woman in who sold me the set of Addis that I gave away, and thank God I am a compulsive buyer and get multiples of everything. After the former experience, I would have NEVER bought more of those turbos, but since I had them, and since DM likes them, I thought I would give them another whirl. From here on out, I am going to spread the Addi gospel.

Way Cool Yarn for DMS's Sweater

I knew I had selected nice yarn for DMS's sweater/gift, but I have never knit with the Plymouth Sunset yarn before. You have to be really careful not to split it, but it feels so wonderful. The gauge swatch even felt great. I got that yarn at The Studio, and they may have become my favorite knitting shop in the area now (raspberries to the old crabbies).

I have yet another new knitting group to attend next week, and I have high hopes as it is at my favorite library, and the head librarian participates in the group herself. This group meets only once a month, maybe I can prevail upon them to meet every other week...

Lastly, I want my blog to be enjoyable experience for myself, and to any people that take time to read about my rantings, the love of knitting, or even if you just have too much free time and you are looking for something to fill that space. This brings me to the newest rant. If you love all things about knitting, keep visiting this blog. If you like reading what a pain in the ass writes, keep visiting this blog. If you are just bored and killing time, God bless you - welcome back! If you are one of the freaky deakies who keeps posting advertisements to sell things in the comments section on my blog - QUIT IT ALREADY!!! Unless you give away free knitting supplies, and possibly chocolate I will never use any service that slinks onto my comment section. That is way sleazy, and keep slitherin' buckos! In the spirit of this blog, I say KNIT OFF!

The Finish Line - Cheer, Cheer, Cheer!!!

The last of the sock yarn has been wound into a ball (we definitely don't want to run out), the knitting needles were hot, and Natty and I were neck and neck to see who could get to the knitting bag first. I am done with work for the day, and the damn cat has been marshalling her energy so she can race me to the knitting. The pint-sized hussy beat me to the bag, but at least she can't work the zipper - well, not on this bag, and not yet...

The race being run, and with knitting only inches away, I have to decide whether to finish the last sock, or take it to the new knitting group I joined that meets tonight. I could take the sock and finish there, or I could bring something to start a new project. DH is even planning to wear the socks - whoda thunkit?

I have a knitting conundrum. I want to knit the French market bag next for my mother so I can see how it turns out, but I owe DMS (dear mean sister - only partially kidding) her sweater, and I want her to be able to wear it this Winter. I have gotten very backlogged (DM's phrase), and now I am stuck. Oh yea, part two to the condundrum would be I now cannot find the pattern for DMS's sweater. I know I have it. I showed it to her on Sunday, and where the heck it is I have not a clue! ARGH!!!!

I better get some chores done, and look for that pattern AGAIN. If I find it, maybe I will take it to the knitting group tonight, if not the sock will definitely cross the finish line there instead of at home. Another FINISHED project - Yea on me! I am going to try to learn how to upload pictures of my knitting to post - no promises, just a thought.